It is gone
by The-Year-of-the-Dragon
Summary: Ellie learns a lesson about the world she lives in when someone takes what she loves and doesn't even care. Rated M for implied sex and cussing because Ellie has a dirty mouth.


**It is gone.**

Joel/ellie if you squint

I own nothing.

Summary: Ellie realizes something about life in this world.

(This is all speculation stuff but from the gameplay it should hold true.)

Here is a life lesson for all the kids in the world. You never know what you had until it is gone. Now this can apply to how good someone treats you or someone in your life. But this can include items in your life you just take…for granted. A little dumb memento like a snow globe someone brought back on a trip or old photo tucked in your wallet. It all has a place in your life, but you don't think about it or what it even means. It is just there.

But when something happens- it falls off a shelf. CORRECTION, someone pushes it off. Some stupid, fucking idiot that destroys it with a smile because 'Hey, it is just a mug from Disney Land. They can get another one." Something in you snaps as you realize you will never have it back. You might not have a chance to go on that trip again or even see the person who gave it you.

You want to scream in the pillow. However, that pillow will not stifle the noise. All that will happen is that your lungs will burn. You want to hit, starch, claw, kick, break every single one of their possessions until they feel something. You just want to punish them for something they do not understand and will never will.

Like a little kid, they are rubber and you are glue. Whatever you try to do to make them suffer and see what they did, but no, all that rage will be bounced back as they laugh at you "for taking it too seriously". They will be as empty as ever with a smile because they hurt someone. Now someone might say that this might have happened to this idiot in the past. Someone has hurt them or took something that cannot be given back, but here is the key. The world is full of assholes. These people (if you can even call them that) who will take your life, your love, any little memento from a better time and crush just to see what would happen. They do it just because they could.

Ellie knows all of this. The world she grew up in full of assholes because like evil, pointless cruelty lives on forever. She fights back the tears because she knows it is just ammo and being blind will not help but still the water is forming.

Her bag is on the floor. Ripped from end to end. Her bag. A stupid bookbag she always had through thick and thin. That little contained her life. All the contents were everywhere from a stupid book that stupid mirror that was cracked to all the CDs and player Joel gave her. Even the batteries. And underneath a leader of goon's boot was an old wrinkled post card that was not even addressed to her but always came along.

"Leave it alone." Joel growled that the guys in the road gang, but they laughed at this threat. He could not do much cuffed to the metal pole. He was not even on his feet he was bent on his knees chained to an old water pipe exposed. At least the effort made her feel better, but she coughed. She pulled against the plastic zip cord that held her. The group had caught them in their sleep in the truck. Joel got a few, but there were too many to get away.

"LEAVE MY FUCKING STUFF ALONE!" She snapped and that goon shifted his weight sliding the picture into a crack on the side walk. He left a boot print on the words.

"She has got a mouth on her." His eyes glittered like the steel of the knife he had. He leaned in and tugged her hair back. The movement yanked her into a more awkward position, and it felt like he was ripping her hair out. "I can fix that." He grabbed at the pony tail a little harder. "Just like puppy. You just got to train them right." He kicked her in the thigh. "A good kick now and then does the trick." Joel was yelling but she couldn't make it out. Her knee ached.

Joel was moving, but she couldn't think about that it. She was sure her neck would snap at any minute if kept pushing and pulling her back in half.

"Going to be a good girl and keep your goddam trap shut." She looked up at him.

"Oh sorry, princess. Blink once you yes. Two for no." She was going to kill him, but she blinked. The water burned in her eyes.

He let go and went back to the bag.

"Trash." He declared as he threw the CDs to one of his friends. "Keep these." He threw the batteries to a guy wearing a dirty tank top. He slid the mirror to the woman in the group who frowned and tossed it behind her. It smashed cracking the mirror and the old green case. Her heart sank. Amy gave that back to her a while ago before she left to another zone. She had not thought of the girl in years but it hurt. She used to keep an eye on Ellie.

They even ate the goddam Twinkies, Joel gave her after that time they broke into an old convenience store, in her face. That disgusting man sucked the filling right out and then squished the cake in his mouth. She kicked the ground wishing it was his balls. They examined all the pockets and even found the bullets Joel gave her to keep safe. She did a great job apparently. At least they had that not the gun. Each item was inspected and tossed. He even found the card. "Hawaii?" He laughed. "The hula girl on the front is cute enough." He ripped in half so only the bikini-clad woman in the grass skirt remained. The rest thrown in a pile of garbage and broken cement. He picked up the remnants of the torn bag.

"Please give it back. The bag and the card. Please."

"Beg for it." She wanted to stab him in the eyes.

"Please." She put on a sugary tone.

"Not good enough. Maybe I will give it to you tonight, if you're good." His friends laughed and laughed. She imagined killing each and every one of them. They will pay for this. Joel was trying to reason with them, but you cannot reason with a wild dumb creature. She knew that.

"Sure, whatever. I want my stuff back." She looked down. She couldn't meet his eyes and she didn't even want to look at Joel. It might just give him enough time.

"OH!" he laughed more showing his teeth that were yellow. "That eager? Sounds great. We can do it right here." He grinned at Joel. "You can watch." The woman among them left with a few guys in tow. Waving her hand. "Have fun, boys."

She studied that knife on his the back of his belt and the keys they used on Joel's old police cuffs in his pocket. The man came closer. He tugged at her jeans. "I'd let you go down. But you know a bitch has a nasty bite." The corners of his eyes were wrinkled with the smile. He was older than Joel. He lifted her up higher avoiding the bar. She was settled on his hip with the knife against her calf. She had one chance because if this didn't work she was going to be dead.

She gave the man her best 'I'm playing nice' smile.

Joel was yelling at the man. Cussing, insulting, anything to get him to let go of her. He yanked back at his bar and raged against the storm. The man's goons saw Joel as nothing more than a nuisance as kicked dirt at him. He was already dirty but he didn't give up.

"The cord hurts my arms. Can you let me go?"

"Not a chance, babe. But I'll help you with the jeans." He bent closer to get to the zipper. The lift position gave her just enough room. It was now or never. She grabbed his thin hair and anything she could and smashed his head against the bar. He yelled and she did again and again. He dropped to his knees and she wrapped her legs around his neck.

The goons jumped to help. She yelled. "Don't move any closer or I will do more than hold him." They back up. She used a foot to kick the man into place. Like a well-rehearsed team. She caught the keys and the knife with a foot and kicked them to Joel. He never moved so fast. He was out before the men could reach her. He caught each in the chest with knife. He took care of them while she finished the job. It felt good. Joel cut the plastic with a pop and wrapped an arm around her middle pulling her over the man.

'Don't ever do that again." He hissed each word and she winced.

"Can I get my stuff?"

His brown eyes scanned the area. "Hurry, more will come." He already went for the man with the bullets.

She tried to collect her stuff but some was beyond her reach. The CDs were gone. The mirror broken. The Twinkies eaten. She grabbed the torn bag and went back to the leader. She took the card from his pocket. She looked all over the ground, and she could not find the words. The word were what she wanted and now she had just a dumb picture of a woman with no message. No "miss you." No "love you, mom" at the end scrawled in a woman's handwriting. The note might have not been addressed to her but it was something she always had.

"Ellie." Joel grabbed her arm. "But. It is just stupid stuff. I'll help fix the bag but the rest..." Joel didn't understand or maybe that is the reason he never held on to anything before her.

Voices came in the distance.

"But…"

He pulled.

He dragged her to the truck and grabbed the gun he hid. He took off for rubble.

He never let go like he was afraid she would run back.

That night she laid beside him like she had since it started. His arm around her waist his other arm her pillow. He breathed slowly. He only slept this good when he had his back against a wall.

She held the bag to her chest. Joel fixed it like he did his worn out plaid shirt. Neat little stiches, up the sides. But it was still broken. Nothing was right. Those bastards just took something they could not replace. Stuff she could not replace or fix. Her privacy was one thing, but it was all the little things that added up to all she could call her own were gone. All the stupid little things that she carried that she would write off. They smiled as they took it and would have taken more if she had it to give.

She knew the world was ugly and that there were far too many assholes in it. But sometimes when she met people like Joel and his "friends" who would help even if they didn't want to. It gave her a sense of hope that all people had feelings, hopes and dreams. But nope, she realized some people were assholes from birth to death and they were here just to suck the life out of everything.

She hoped she could make them pay.

A/N: Sorry, I am a teacher in my daily life and a kid broke a something I got from my grandfather before he died. When I first got it, I just thought it was a dumb dried corncob (he was a farmer). But as a kid destroyed and threw the pieces around the room. My heart broke. (By the way this was not a little kid but a senior in high school who just decided today was the day.) So, I had to write it down and when I see Ellie I just know it would fit.


End file.
